what the crap?

Ok, so maybe I'm an idiot, but I thought Prilosec and Prevacid (hello, it's in the name) did more than alleviate heartburn. I DON'T HAVE HEARTBURN. My fucking mid-section feels like someone is twisting it, HARD. Hence the ibuprofen. How the hell is heartburn medication supposed to help. I don't get it.

Still in flare-up mode. Things seemed to go back to "normal" after last weekend, but went back to crap this weekend. What is it about weekends?! Dammit! So yeah, not able to eat much again and I should be sticking with liquids, but it's very hard. Was taking a lot of ibuprofen to combat the pains, but doc said to cool it with that and try Prilosec or Prevacid (???). We'll see. I'm so glad I made an ENORMOUS amount of baked ziti last night. Thought this would let up soon, but maybe not, so I froze most of it. Food stresses me the FUCK out.

I asked the doc if your woman times could affect the flare-ups and he said he's had a few people who have seemed to have that problem. Since I'm on the 3-month pill (for endometriosis and cysts), I'm thinking that's why it's particularly bad right now. (I'm at the end of the 3rd month). Looking back, all the other more manageable flare-ups have been mid-cycle (or when it would be my time, if I weren't on this wackadoodle pill). So, it seems logical to me. And shitty. Also shitty.

As if dating weren't hard enough.
SWF. 33, never married. (Hmmm.) Has fun, quality-of-life medical issues and is possibly sterile, or will be soon. Also, half blind with an "artistic temperment" (read: moody and sometimes depressive). Make a line, boys!

#^$&@*!

The evening of May 26, 2011 is when it started. Now this is a full-blown flare-up. Not even the usual extreme and uncomfortable bloating, but pain. Not just the mild discomfort pain, but the pain where I can't move around. It feels like my entire mid-section is twisted and stuck with pins. It hurts in my back too and I can hear my stomach gurgling and have the occasional spasms. I didn't eat anything until 4pm today because I was scared. Even then, I had chicken tortilla soup with a very small slice of bread torn up and put in the soup (to make it more easily digestable) and a small amount of chocolate ice cream. I can't believe that did me in. I hate this. I hate going back to how it was before the pills. I wonder if I've built up a tolerance or if this is just a particularly bad Bad Time. I have all this food in the house and I can't eat it. I hate that. I'm hungry, but I'm scared of eating. I HATE LOSING TIME! This would happen on a three-day weekend.

Mark your calendars

May 15, right on schedule. Bad time ramped up. Exasperated, no doubt, by the fact that I ate without taking a pill. Ate at 4:30pm. Took an hour nap after that and from then on 'til early in the morning, my stomach (entire mid-section) hurt so bad I couldn't move. It subsided when I laid still, but getting up and doing things made it feel like someone took me by the shoulders and hips and just twisted with all their might, like a dishcloth being wrung out with force. The timing of these things over the past six months makes me think the flare ups are connected to my cycle.

Entering a Bad Time, as of last night. Don't really want to talk about it, but thought I should log it for future reference. Extremely bloated, nearing painful, nausea, burping. Ginger ale for dinner and even though I have so much to do, reading on the couch is in my future.

Real tired of this. Tired of lost time. Tired of it sneaking up on me, even with the meds. Wish I could make people understand without having to explain it. Feel like a whiner as it is.

Chicken or egg?

Does your stomach ever hurt so much that it radiates to other parts of your body? I can't tell if it started in my shoulder or my stomach, but both hurt so much I want to puke. Having hot cocoa for dinner. And this, on the day I had my 3-month Cisapride check-up (blood, EKG, dr visit) and reported that everything is going well. Yes, even with the "miracle drug", the fluctuations and Bad Times continue.

Update.

It's weird how it fluctuates. Even though the Cisapride makes it better, I still have good times and bad. I'd gained back 5lbs, luring me into a false sense of stability and then BAM. Yesterday marks the start of a Bad Time, just in time for Po-Boy Fest on Sunday. :( Even though I took a pill, after eating a small amount today, I had to fight to keep the food down. Right now I'm opting to lay down for a few hours after dinner in the hopes of being able to go to a concert tonight. I hate the downtime, but I get so tired.