The cycle strikes again

So, I've been trying not to eat while I'm at work, because I just feel awful.  It's odd how food is like alcohol sometimes, in that I will PASS THE FUCK OUT after eating.  Seriously.  Just can't help falling asleep.  Not to mention the very uncomfortable bloating, and mild pain.

So, yeah, not eating at work, but then when I come home, I'm starving.  So, last night, knowing that I'm also on my cycle and feel the endometriosis is flaring up, AND I'm running out of medication (that's another story), I ate a small amount of rice and a mild veggie curry.  Most people, who god bless them, don't understand this disease, would say, "ohhh, it was the curry, wasn't it".  NO.  Look, I can eat spicy food, it's not IBS or acid reflux, or Crohn's or whatever.  Sometimes, usually around this time, it just gets really awful.  Right now, is that time.  So much pain last night, couldn't sleep.  Wanted a mid-sectionectomy, just remove my torso please.  Felt like a twisted mess with knives sticking in a few choice places.  Feel it coming on now, even though I've had tea today....ok, and a few pine nuts, but dammit, they're soft!

Also, what's with the back pain?  It's ramped up with my cycle, but lower back gets it bad sometimes.  I was reading about fasting and it seems that lumbago is fairly common when only taking in liquid.

Speaking of, I know I should be on a liquid diet right now, but I also hate wasting food and feel like I need to eat what's in my fridge.  I also know I shouldn't be eating so much, period.  It's time to go back to fist-sized portions, and mostly soft, liquid, or pureed foods.  I don't think I anticipated how hard it would be when working in a restaurant.   I'm just going to suck it up, eat only at home where I can lay very still afterwards, be completely (rather than mostly) anti-social, and bitch on here until it passes.  After that, it's time to be more strict, and hope my friends understand I'm not trying to be difficult or a downer when I have to plan everything out and need more notice before joining them for food, or when I decline to eat.  I hate thinking about food all the time, hate having to plan everything out, but at least I'll feel better physically, then perhaps mentally.
Huzzah!

Missing Mardi Gras

Annnnd, we're back.
Was doing good and then BAM, down for the count.  Monday evening, having not eaten anything all day, I took my pills, then ate a sandwich.  Said sandwich had bacon on it.  Usually, if I have bacon, I'll eat the meaty parts of two strips and then leave the fat.  Since this was most of the sandwich, and I'd taken my pills, I left everything intact.  I'm guessing this was the culprit since I woke up at 3am feeling massive nausea and pain.  I then proceeded to "evacuate" everything in my body, from top to bottom, until about 11am.  I gave up and just laid on the bathroom floor.  The whole time, I had pain contractions, always two in a row.  Usually, the pain is fairly constant and subsides if I lay still.  This time they came on randomly and very intense.

So, here I sit, having missed Mardi Gras (in New Orleans, mind you).  Costume was all ready, plan was set.  There's always next year, but yet again I'm wondering when this will subside.  I still cannot eat, even liquids are a problem.  Why does this happen randomly like this.  I'd thought it was tied to my cycle, but again, since I'm on the three month pill, I don't know if this is when my cycle would really be happening.  I just hope it goes away before my double-shift on Friday.

EDIT:  This was actually food poisoning.  Yay!

AND....

Dating.
I'm doing more of it now and am finding it hard to figure out when to bring up the eating thing. I'm inclined to just put it out there, but I don't know if I should just see how "normal" I can make it before having to say something. I just don't want guys thinking I'm being "dainty" or that I don't enjoy a good bourbon. I do! I did. I might be able to again, on a good night, when I haven't eaten a lot that day, and I have my meds. Maybe. I hate planning all this out! I hate that when a guy asks me where I want to go, I have to consider it carefully. It's depressing.