The cycle strikes again

So, I've been trying not to eat while I'm at work, because I just feel awful.  It's odd how food is like alcohol sometimes, in that I will PASS THE FUCK OUT after eating.  Seriously.  Just can't help falling asleep.  Not to mention the very uncomfortable bloating, and mild pain.

So, yeah, not eating at work, but then when I come home, I'm starving.  So, last night, knowing that I'm also on my cycle and feel the endometriosis is flaring up, AND I'm running out of medication (that's another story), I ate a small amount of rice and a mild veggie curry.  Most people, who god bless them, don't understand this disease, would say, "ohhh, it was the curry, wasn't it".  NO.  Look, I can eat spicy food, it's not IBS or acid reflux, or Crohn's or whatever.  Sometimes, usually around this time, it just gets really awful.  Right now, is that time.  So much pain last night, couldn't sleep.  Wanted a mid-sectionectomy, just remove my torso please.  Felt like a twisted mess with knives sticking in a few choice places.  Feel it coming on now, even though I've had tea today....ok, and a few pine nuts, but dammit, they're soft!

Also, what's with the back pain?  It's ramped up with my cycle, but lower back gets it bad sometimes.  I was reading about fasting and it seems that lumbago is fairly common when only taking in liquid.

Speaking of, I know I should be on a liquid diet right now, but I also hate wasting food and feel like I need to eat what's in my fridge.  I also know I shouldn't be eating so much, period.  It's time to go back to fist-sized portions, and mostly soft, liquid, or pureed foods.  I don't think I anticipated how hard it would be when working in a restaurant.   I'm just going to suck it up, eat only at home where I can lay very still afterwards, be completely (rather than mostly) anti-social, and bitch on here until it passes.  After that, it's time to be more strict, and hope my friends understand I'm not trying to be difficult or a downer when I have to plan everything out and need more notice before joining them for food, or when I decline to eat.  I hate thinking about food all the time, hate having to plan everything out, but at least I'll feel better physically, then perhaps mentally.
Huzzah!

I apologize if anyone is offended by my language, but last night was goddamned awful. Yesterday I had a little applesauce for breakfast and a hot mocha. Lunch (late) was some pureed peas and curried-carrot-ginger soup. I was fine after all that. Then at about 5pm, I had a handful of Cheez-its and one slice of thin-sliced turkey. Rebel, I know. I felt moderately ok, so about an hour and a half later, I had the rest of the Cheez-its (one of those small, vending-size bags). Yeah, and I did have about 8oz of Pimm's and ginger ale. I was incapacitated for the rest of the night, just lying there trying desperately not to throw up. It also felt like a lot of air is trapped in my stomach. Ended up going to bed early. What else was I supposed to do? More lost time and it seems to be in a bad stage right now. Perfect, since I have company in town and I'll have to explain. She wants to take me out to dinner on Monday, ha.

Right now, I still feel nauseous, but I'm not sure if it's because I'm hungry, it's residual, it's an air pocket, or I'm making myself worry. I'm scared of eating but I'm hungry. Even when I'm nauseous, the hunger is still there. I'll just stick to liquids today and see how it goes. I have too much to do to lose time by being sick.

Liquid Diet Recommendation

So, liquids/pureed food is just how it's going to be for awhile. Luckily, I can have coffee still so all is not lost. I would truly be much more depressed if I had to cut coffee out.

For anyone out there with the same issue, I recommend this: http://www.amazinggrass.com/green-superfood-powder.html mixed with this: http://www.nakedjuice.com/#OurJuices/Background/MainMenu/Families/PureJuice/bottle1

Whole Paycheck (aka Whole Foods) carries both, and they also have a nifty little Blender Bottle for about $6.