The cycle strikes again

So, I've been trying not to eat while I'm at work, because I just feel awful.  It's odd how food is like alcohol sometimes, in that I will PASS THE FUCK OUT after eating.  Seriously.  Just can't help falling asleep.  Not to mention the very uncomfortable bloating, and mild pain.

So, yeah, not eating at work, but then when I come home, I'm starving.  So, last night, knowing that I'm also on my cycle and feel the endometriosis is flaring up, AND I'm running out of medication (that's another story), I ate a small amount of rice and a mild veggie curry.  Most people, who god bless them, don't understand this disease, would say, "ohhh, it was the curry, wasn't it".  NO.  Look, I can eat spicy food, it's not IBS or acid reflux, or Crohn's or whatever.  Sometimes, usually around this time, it just gets really awful.  Right now, is that time.  So much pain last night, couldn't sleep.  Wanted a mid-sectionectomy, just remove my torso please.  Felt like a twisted mess with knives sticking in a few choice places.  Feel it coming on now, even though I've had tea today....ok, and a few pine nuts, but dammit, they're soft!

Also, what's with the back pain?  It's ramped up with my cycle, but lower back gets it bad sometimes.  I was reading about fasting and it seems that lumbago is fairly common when only taking in liquid.

Speaking of, I know I should be on a liquid diet right now, but I also hate wasting food and feel like I need to eat what's in my fridge.  I also know I shouldn't be eating so much, period.  It's time to go back to fist-sized portions, and mostly soft, liquid, or pureed foods.  I don't think I anticipated how hard it would be when working in a restaurant.   I'm just going to suck it up, eat only at home where I can lay very still afterwards, be completely (rather than mostly) anti-social, and bitch on here until it passes.  After that, it's time to be more strict, and hope my friends understand I'm not trying to be difficult or a downer when I have to plan everything out and need more notice before joining them for food, or when I decline to eat.  I hate thinking about food all the time, hate having to plan everything out, but at least I'll feel better physically, then perhaps mentally.
Huzzah!

Stop! Liquid diet time!

I look and feel, oh, about six months pregnant and have gained back a few pounds from trying to get in food consumption at night before I go to bed.  I feel both fat and awful.  Threw up today after eating some pretzels (didn't take pill either, because I'ma dummeh.)

Missing Mardi Gras

Annnnd, we're back.
Was doing good and then BAM, down for the count.  Monday evening, having not eaten anything all day, I took my pills, then ate a sandwich.  Said sandwich had bacon on it.  Usually, if I have bacon, I'll eat the meaty parts of two strips and then leave the fat.  Since this was most of the sandwich, and I'd taken my pills, I left everything intact.  I'm guessing this was the culprit since I woke up at 3am feeling massive nausea and pain.  I then proceeded to "evacuate" everything in my body, from top to bottom, until about 11am.  I gave up and just laid on the bathroom floor.  The whole time, I had pain contractions, always two in a row.  Usually, the pain is fairly constant and subsides if I lay still.  This time they came on randomly and very intense.

So, here I sit, having missed Mardi Gras (in New Orleans, mind you).  Costume was all ready, plan was set.  There's always next year, but yet again I'm wondering when this will subside.  I still cannot eat, even liquids are a problem.  Why does this happen randomly like this.  I'd thought it was tied to my cycle, but again, since I'm on the three month pill, I don't know if this is when my cycle would really be happening.  I just hope it goes away before my double-shift on Friday.

EDIT:  This was actually food poisoning.  Yay!

Hello again!

Not a very welcome hello, for when I post on here, you know it's back with a vengeance.
The flare-ups have to be tied to my cycle, which came a month early.  This 3-month birth control (on for Endometriosis) has me all out of whack.  I've been in pain and extremely bloated, after eating very little, for about a week now.  I'm hoping that it will go away in the next week.  But until then....

I'd almost forgotten what the bad times are like.  This is awful.  It's such an emotional affliction when it takes away from your ability to get anything done, when you REALLY have to get some things done.  Quality of life is in the toilet right now.  I shouldn't whine.  I know people have it worse.  But right now I'm dreading going home where they will worry, especially since I just quit my job (meaning: quit my health insurance).  Luckily, my gastro doc and the drug study nurse are going to keep seeing me.  Just need to find a way to get EKGs and labs paid for.  But I had to do it, that job was affecting my quality of life more than the GP...'til now.

I feel huge.  I feel pregnant.  It's hard to explain to my new co-workers and hard to hide.  I really hope this subsides soon.

list for doctor

currently, in addition to nausea, inability to eat/drink, and extreme bloating:

increased salivation
hot/cold flashes
extreme lethargy
headaches
mod-extreme shortness of breath in evenings (could be made worse by allergies, def related to bloating)
seeing movement in peripheral vision

slight twitching occasionally
feeling of increased heart rate occasionally

by the way...

This support community has been exactly what I needed on more than one occasion:  https://www.inspire.com/groups/agmd-gi-motility/

The past few days have been abundantly awful.
Actually, the past week had been pretty damn bad, but it's the extreme shortness of breath that really bothers me.  I feel like I could suffocate, but I know panicking will only make it worse.  I think it's a combination of allergies and gas from eating (anything really, these days).  Having a spell.  Good thing I bought all that food!

That's another thing I hate, wasting food.  I have all this good stuff that I want to make, that I could eat when I'm stable, but this comes on so suddenly that I fear it going bad.  Plus, cooking relaxes me.  So, if things don't improve in the next day or so, my co-workers will be getting a treat.

I haven't been able to go out in the evenings at all the past few days.  Went to the Saints game on Friday, but ended up being sick later that night.  Didn't even try last night due to the not being able to breathe.  Figured I just can't eat hardly anything, so today, I had about a half cup of grits in the morning and some chips and salsa in the late afternoon (both times I prepped by taking 1 1/2 pills (Cisapride).  And now, now I feel (and look) pregnant and can't breathe.  I really hate this.  I don't know how many times I can say this.  If I was on a path to becoming a hermit before, this just solidifies it.  I'm only good in the morning.  Basically, my free time away from my consuming job is ruined a lot of the time.  Being on the internet is about all I can do from a horizontal position.  Reading yes, but I tend to fall asleep these days.  The other night I did do some drawing though, so that's something.

That's the other thing though.  I'm so tired, so tired all the time.  Caffeine doesn't even matter anymore.  I can have three shots of espresso and still pass out on the couch after reading a few pages.  It's not lack of sleep either, unless I need more than 9 hours, which is ridiculous.  Today, I got the shakes from carrying a couple grocery bags into the house.   I sat on the balcony and spaced out, let my body sink for a good half hour before feeling "right".  I just feel weak and my body feels old.  I'm sure part of it is nutritional.  I've got to get better about the vitamins.